Domestic Violence

WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is any form of violence within a relationship or family and is often referred to as intimate partner violence, family violence, or spousal abuse. Domestic violence is not limited to physical violence only; it can also be manifested through spiritual, emotional, psychological, or sexual means. Though women are most commonly discussed in regards to abuse (which is reflected in this section by most often referring to the victims as “she” or “her”), men and boys are often among abuse victims (Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence).

• In the United States, 33% of all women murdered (limited, of course, to those that have been solved) are murdered by an intimate partner.  Women make up about 85% of the victims of non-lethal domestic violence (Rennison & Welchans, 2000).

• One in three American women are victims of sexual or physical abuse from their husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives (Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence, 2008).

• Men are victims of domestic violence only slightly less than women. These numbers may include women physically defending themselves from abuse (Feldman & Ridley, 2003).

• One in five American female high school students report being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner (Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence, 2008).

• In the year 2001, Utah had 17 deaths due to domestic violence. In the year 2002, Utah had 10 deaths. In the year 2004, Utah had 14 deaths, and 2 of these were children. In the year 2006, there were 17 deaths due to domestic violence, and 16 children total were present during the 2006 deaths (City of Orem, 2007).

• In 2004, a Provo, Utah shelter housed 432 victims and received 4,620 crisis (Governor’s Violence Against Women and Families Cabinet Council, 2005).


HOW CAN IT BE RECOGNIZED?

The following are kinds of abuse and the forms they take:

• Physical abuse can include pushing, punching, hitting, shoving, shaking, pulling hair, beating, cutting, burning, choking, hitting specific body parts, throwing against walls, hitting with objects, pushing to the ground, damaging teeth, causing internal injuries, and using weapons among others.

• Psychological abuse can include demeaning jokes, yelling, insults, strict expectations, ignoring, destroying property, isolating the partner and not letting her be alone, name- calling, threats to her or her family, blaming, hurting pets, scaring kids, threatening suicide, threatening murder, and others.

• Sexual abuse can include sexual put-downs, degrading sexual jokes, embarrassing sexual comments, expecting sex as a duty, withholding sex to punish, flirting or acting out sexually with others to hurt partner, forcing unwanted sexual acts, incest, causing extreme pain during sex, raping, beating after intimacy, and others.(Provo Police Department, 2009, Chart of Dangerous Behaviors)

The following are 3 phases in the cycle of abuse. These 3 phases can occur repeatedly throughout an abusive relationship.

• Phase 1: Tension-building
During this phase there are minor conflicts that can build. Threats of violence may increase. This phase may last from a few hours to many months.

• Phase 2: Violence
During this phase, the abuser uses violence through a number of possible methods such as throwing objects, hitting, choking, kicking, sexual abuse, or using weapons. Once the attack starts, the victim can do little to stop it. There are generally no witnesses.

• Phase 3: Reconciliation
During this phase, a period of remorse follows the violent behavior. The abuser may apologize excessively, may express guilt, and may even promise to go into treatment voluntarily. The abuser also might buy gifts and flowers for the person they abused.
(Provo Police Department, 2009, The Cycle of Abuse)


WHAT CAN CLERGY DO?

Helping those caught in domestic violence is possible! Though difficult, the first step to helping the problem is to recognize that not only does the problem exist, but that it exists within your stewardship. Secondly, regardless of past history, when an abuse victim comes looking for help, the helper should take him or her for their word, and worry about evidence later. Only after these artificial walls have been removed can you begin the helping process. The first and most basic step of the helping process is to remove those abused, the victims, from the abusive environment and to find them a safe place to stay (family, safe house, shelter, etc). Once the victims are safe, be sure to assure the victims that the abuse is not their fault, that they are not alone, and that help is available (Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence).

It is important to hold the abuser accountable and to not minimize the abuser’s behavior. Continue to support and protect the victim while the abuser begins some sort of counseling. Couples counseling is not appropriate in the early stages of abuse treatment and could open the victim to further emotional or psychological abuse. If couple’s counseling is to be pursued at some point, it should only be so once the victim is safe and the crisis has de-escalated (Center for the Prevention of Sexual and Domestic Violence).


WHAT IS THE LAW?

Domestic violence is against the law. Womenslaw.org contains a complete listing of Utah domestic violence laws. Titles 76–78 of Utah Code 1953 include the domestic violence statutes.

Title 76 contains most of the information you will find helpful.

     • Harassment: threatening another person with the intent to frighten or harass

     • Stalking: repeatedly engaging in a course of conduct directed at a specific person that would cause the victim emotional        distress and fear of bodily injury.

     • Domestic violence in the presence of a child: abuse occurs when a child is physically present or when the abuser knows        that a child is in the house and can see or hear the abuse. This is a form of child abuse. (Knowlton & Secrist, 2003)

You are not required by Utah law to report domestic violence. It is recommended that you report domestic violence to police, but you must take into consideration the victim’s current situation. There are things, however, that are mandatory to report. Failure to report child abuse, which includes domestic violence in the presence of a child, is a crime. Violence against a vulnerable adult, which may include the elderly or the disabled, must also be reported. Furthermore, any abuse that results in injury discovered by medical personnel must also be reported (Knowlton & Secrist, 2003).


MYTHS AND REALITIES

• Domestic Violence happens only to poor women or women of a certain race. Domestic violence actually happens to people of every community, race, religion, class, age, gender, and culture.

• Some women deserve to be hit or abused. No one ever deserves to be abused, no matter what. The sole person responsible for the abuse is the abuser.

• Alcohol, drug use, and mental illness cause domestic violence. While these things may be involved in some domestic violence and may be used as excuses by the abuser, they do not cause the violence or abuse. In most cases, domestic violence happens when the abuser has learned to abuse and chooses to abuse.

• If it were that bad, women would just leave. There are many reasons why women may not leave. Often, leaving can be dangerous, and in fact, is the most dangerous time for a woman in a domestic violence situation. There are also psychological reasons women may not leave. If caught in the cycle of abuse, she may feel things really will get better, and the abuser will stop abusing. If she and the abuser have children, she may want to stay for the children. Many women do successfully leave and lead violence-free lives.

• Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and wife. Domestic violence affects everyone. 40% to 60% of men who abuse women also abuse children. Domestic violence also negatively impacts the community in which it takes place (Oakland County Coordinating Council Against Domestic Violence, 2008).


RESOURCES

1-800-897-LINK (5465)
Free 24 hour help resource for information on free shelters, counseling, and other services. If it is an emergency, call 911. (Utah department of human services)


GROUPS FOR VICTIMS (NO CHARGE):

Center for Women and Children
1433 E. 840 N. Orem, UT 84097
Adult victims (no child care is provided)
Wednesdays 6:00–7:30 p.m.
356-2511

Family Abuse Center for Treatment
787-7843
Wednesdays 6:30-8:00 p.m.

Provo Police Spanish Speaking Support Group
Centro Hispano
819 S. Freedom Blvd. Provo, UT
Thursdays 6:30-8:00 p.m.

Child therapy simultaneous with adult group (Spanish only)
852-6244

Wasatch Mental Health (Medicaid Clients only)
Call for domestic violence victim group times
373-4766
750 N. 200 W. Provo, UT


THERAPY PROVIDERS

AFTC
313 E. 1200 S., Suite 104, Orem, UT
Types of groups: Powerful-self program for female victims, PTSD, Childhood trauma, Addiction therapy, general treatment
377-1595

Wasatch Mental Health (Medicaid Clients only)
750 N 200 W
Provo, UT
Types of groups: Schizophrenic, skills, depression and anxiety, borderline, bi-polar, male and female domestic violence, anger management, assertiveness, adults molested as children
373-4766

LDS Social Services
1190 N. 900 E
Provo, UT
Types of Groups: Peer group ($20 single, $30 couple), Marriage and personal counseling ($65)
422-7620

Addiction Psychological Services
224 N. Orem Blvd.
Orem, UT
Types of groups: Group and individual counseling for domestic violence and addiction ($65 individual, $30 group)
222-0603

ICT
560 S. State Street, Suite A1
Orem, UT
Types of groups: Perpetrator group ($30 group, $60 evaluation, $100 workshop)
802-8608

ISAT
1868 N 1120 W
Provo, UT
Types of groups: Domestic violence children’s group, victim group, perpetrator group (cost depends on income- sliding scale)
373-0210


ADDITIONAL WEB RESOURCES

www.domesticviolence.org

www.womenslaw.org